10 Lessons I’ve Learned by 40

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For years, this newsletter has focused primarily on personal finance—saving, investing, real estate, and building wealth. But over time, I’ve realized that money is only one part of creating a fulfilling life.

As I continue writing, you’ll see me explore more topics beyond just finances: career, health, family, faith, and personal growth. These areas are all connected, and many of the lessons I’ve learned about money also apply to life more broadly.

I turned 40 last September, and I’ve spent some time reflecting on the experiences that have shaped me so far. Some of these lessons overlap with a post I wrote a decade ago, but this list goes beyond personal finance.

Ten years ago, when I turned 30, I wrote 10 Personal Finance Tips for 20-Somethings from a 30-Year-Old. Looking back, many of those principles still hold true. But life in my 40s feels less about optimizing every dollar and more about building a meaningful life with the time I’ve been given.

Here are 10 lessons I’ve learned so far.

1. Time flies. Slow it down with new experiences.

I can’t believe I’m already 40. My 11-year-old son wears the same shoe size as me and is almost as tall as I am. I’ve worked for the government for 17 years and in real estate for 13 years.

One thing I’ve noticed is that life seems to move faster as we settle into routines. The best way I’ve found to slow it down is to keep seeking new experiences.

That might mean trying a restaurant I’ve never been to, taking a different route on a walk, or having lunch with someone new. Novel experiences make life feel richer—and somehow, a little longer.

2. People are friendlier than you think.

In my 20s, I was much more reserved. I wasn’t the type of person who would naturally start conversations with strangers or walk into a room full of people I didn’t know and feel comfortable.

Real estate forced me out of my comfort zone and taught me how to talk with people from all walks of life.

Over time, I learned that most people are open to a genuine conversation. Ask good questions, listen well, and be curious. Those skills have made me a better real estate agent, but they’ve also made me a better coworker, neighbor, and friend.

I only wish I had started sooner.

3. Consistency beats intensity.

Most worthwhile things take longer than we expect.

You don’t train for a marathon in a month. Someone who runs twice a week for a year will almost always outperform someone who trains every day for just one month.

The same is true for investing, fitness, relationships, learning new skills, and building a business.

Small, consistent actions compound over time. The results may not be obvious day-to-day, but they become incredible when measured over years.

4. Your free time shapes your future.

As we get older, our hobbies become habits, and our habits become our lifestyle.

If you consistently exercise, you’ll likely become healthier. If you spend your evenings building a side business or learning new skills, you’ll probably be in a stronger financial position later. If your default is scrolling your phone or watching TV every night, those habits compound too.

Take a close look at how you spend your free time. The choices you make today can have a huge impact on where you are a decade from now.

5. Giving benefits the giver too.

Giving isn’t just good for the person receiving it.

It cultivates gratitude, reinforces an abundance mindset, strengthens relationships, and reminds us that we already have enough.

I’ve found that generosity changes the giver just as much as the recipient.

(And yes… it even motivates people to keep reading newsletters. 😄)

6. Learn personal finance early.

Understanding personal finance has probably produced a higher return on investment than almost anything else I’ve learned.

The earlier you understand budgeting, investing, taxes, and compound growth, the more options you’ll have later in life.

It’s often less about how much you earn and more about what you do with what you earn.

A higher income can certainly help, but good financial decisions allow you to make the most of whatever income you have.

7. Try lots of things. It’s okay to fail—or quit.

I’ve tried many different things throughout my life, and not all of them worked out.

I spent three years completing the education requirements for the CFP® designation and never really used it professionally.

I spent two years as a travel advisor before deciding it wasn’t the right fit for me.

Not every path leads where you expect, but every experience teaches you something.

Thankfully, one of those experiments was real estate. Thirteen years later, it’s become one of the most fulfilling parts of my career and has made a tremendous difference for my family, both financially and personally.

8. Set goals—and track them.

When I started this blog in 2016, I set two big goals: reach a $1 million net worth and pay off our mortgage.

Every month, I publicly updated my progress. Five years later, both goals became reality.

Writing goals down and tracking them creates accountability. It turns vague hopes into something measurable.

As Zig Ziglar famously said:

“If you aim at nothing, you’ll hit it every time.”

9. Avoid car payments whenever you can.

This one probably won’t surprise longtime readers.

Even when interest rates are low, I still prefer owning cars outright. Cars lose value every year, and monthly payments reduce your cash flow.

Instead, keep your car for several years after it’s paid off. Continue making “car payments”—just to yourself. When it’s finally time for another vehicle, you’ll have the cash ready.

It requires some planning, but it’s absolutely achievable.

10. Faith has shaped every part of my life.

Last, but certainly not least, my Christian faith has been the foundation for so much of who I am.

It’s given me hope during difficult seasons, resilience when things didn’t go as planned, a community of friends, mentors, purpose, and direction.

And perhaps most importantly… it led me to my wife. 😊

Thanks for reading.

I’d love to hear which of these lessons resonated with you most—or what life has taught you over the years.

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